"Cliques" in the community

Jul 3, 2011

Niki D.

I had joined another beauty-centric website about 2 years ago (not naming names) because I thought it would be so awesome to chat with like minded makeup addicts and get inspired. After a couple months it became very clear that there was a bit of a clique with a side of snobby undertones. Yeah I'm used to catching less than flattering reactions since I'm heavily tattooed/pierced with multicolored hair but for gods sake, isn't it 2011? But apparently I wasn't the only one getting that treatment. I thought a mutual love for all things beauty and cosmetics would make a common bond. Wrong! Shouldn't we all be supportive of creativity? I like "different" looks and have a different perspective and I apparently wasn't "up to snuff" in those member's eyes, whether it be in skill or appearance.
It was the proverbial needle to my confidence balloon. After my spirit took a hit I gave up. I gave up those closed minded members, that is. Who were they? The judge and jury? I kept on doing my thing and stayed off the internet for a while. But my friends and family kept encouraging me to pursue my desire to be a makeup artist and I figured that I'd just create my own blog and do my own thing. I set up my site, introduced myself to Twitter and got back into the swing of the internet crowd. And even then I received a rather rude comment from a family friend made on my FB wall for the world to see. I left it up for motivation :o)
I have to say that Beautylish is quite different than the last site and I hope that it stays that way. As for that other website, I'd like to see more solidarity within the community and I think different perspectives should be embraced. But, hey, in a perfect world....right? I feel sorry for those type of girls, it must be awful being so perfect that you can judge everyone so harshly. If anyone ever told you that you couldn't do something, tell them to clean off their glasses so they can get a good look at when you do. <3 <3 <3 

Jul 3, 2011

Lauren C.

Pretty sure I know which site you're talking about *coughmakeupalleycough*

beautylish is a really positive site...also, specktra.net is a nice one too with lots of encouragement

Jul 3, 2011

Valerie B.

I absolutely LOVE Beautylish for the sole purpose that this community is nothing short of supportive! Everyone I have met and talked to has been so extremely nice and I've loved every second of it! You just have to let people like that and their comments roll off of your back and keep going! <3

Jul 3, 2011

Tamsin H.

Wow that sounds like a horrible place! That's why I love Beautylish, there's this common ground that everyone can thrive on. I've already made some good friends and it makes me aspire to do what I love. This was a really nice post, I'm sure this'll motivate others as people had motivated you :) Good luck for the future x

Jul 3, 2011

Victoria C.

that is why i love this site sooo much. i have tried other beauty sites and have found nothing but rude people who think they are perfect. I might not be the most talented person and i know i dont have a lot of makeup...but none of that is important here. Beautylish is full of friendly, gorgeous, supportive beauties!!
keep rocking ladies and gents!!!

Jul 3, 2011

Niki D.

@LaurenC, nope it's another site. The people who run the one I mentioned are ok but it's the people who've joined it's community who stink. Anywho, it's hard enough to jump in and commit to your dream career, no one needs random broads talking crap for no reason. What ever happened to being constructive and supportive? The beauty industry is daunting enough.

Jul 3, 2011

Soma S.

There will ALWAYS be clicks on social media sites because it's just human nature to join forces w/ others you find common ground with. Beautylish in itself, is a "click" of the internet world, but I find it sad when others try so hard to be exclusive, they have to put others down. It's okay to find circles of friends, but it crosses a boundary when the "mightier-than-thou" attitudes rear their ugly heads.

Jul 3, 2011

Tamara R.

Ah.. the double edge sword of the beauty community at large.

The one thing I really enjoy is the fact that everyone can benefit from the common ground, support and constructive criticism (provided the recipient doesn't misconstrue it).

The whole elitist, mean girl thing is so childish and often born of insecurity. It really can take away from the joy if you allow it too. Though it can be a peculiar balance, since we all have different tastes and appreciations. What someone might find beautiful, another could find boring and what someone finds weird, another finds inspiring.

To my way of thinking; it's fine not to like something. If can't offer anything constructive, keep it to yourself unless specifically asked. ;]

Jul 3, 2011

Niki D.

I agree with everything you ladies said and the particular cases that happened to me it was that mean girls/elitist tone in particular. And what I love about the beauty community is the myriad of options, looks, and techniques that exist. It's fantastic, it's what I love about it! But we all have different styles and techniques and no, we don't have to like them all. But keeping that in mind I wish there was more of an appreciation for the different kinds out there. For example, my niece has awesome personal style. Yesterday she was wearing an adorable pale pink sundress with a light wash denim jacket and cool boho style earrings. Would I ever wear that? Not a chance. But it was cool and funky and looked great on her. It's just not me. I guess I'm having a "Can't we all just get along?" moment LOL

Jul 4, 2011

Lauren C.

lol *hugs*
i totally know what you mean. idk why so many people are judgey on beauty sites

Jul 5, 2011

Christina T.

I must say ladies, it was honestly touching to hear your honest thoughts about beauty communities. I do agree with @Soma when she says there will always be cliques of some sorts, but it's not to exclude and discriminate (people just naturally become friends and build friendships). Here at Beautylish, it is our priority to continue to create a safe and positive community for all beauty lovers to thrive in. By all means, give your constructive feedback but there is a fine line of that and flat out dissing!

@Niki, I completely understand your "Can't we all get along?" feeling! When I see people verbally abuse and put down others, it just makes me shake my head. COME ON, WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME TEAM! :)

Thank you for your honest feedback and we always want to hear what you think (all the good and all the bad). This is your community and you ladies are taking care of it by setting an amazing example! xoxo

Jul 5, 2011

Lex R.

I guess I lucked out when I found Beautylish. It's the first and only beauty site I've joined and I've never looked anywhere else. Everyone's been very nice and patient with me. Being a near-noob in make-up, I do need quite a bit of encouragement and guidance, both of which have been freely given by the members of this site. I imagine the people on Beautylish are too cool to be mean. :)

I agree with @Soma about there always being cliques but I'd like to think that I belong to a clique in which everyone says "To Each His/Her Own". Individuality makes it interesting. Otherwise, we might as well just all dress up in silver jumpsuits and embrace the drone lifestyle. And where's the fun in THAT?

Jul 5, 2011

Niki D.

@Christina T., I am definitely glad I found this corner of the internet. Something about it just had a much better vibe and after immediately seeing flashes of member pics that were interesting and different, I signed up!
To all you awesome ladies participating in this convo.... for me personally (take it how you will) there's a big difference between a "clique" and a "niche". Clique holds a negative tone as I was taught. It's an air exclusivity and has a sort of alienation factor to it. You ladies are all describing what fits my definition of a niche. Just the beauty community at large (just like photographers, "foodies", musicians...) is a niche, it's what we identify with, it's part of our goals and a good chunk of our lifestyles. But some folks make it a "clique" when they start judging in a bitter way and using only rude and condescending tones when addressing other people. I've even seen forums where a few online beauty gurus were ripped apart while the ladies attempted to plot out the guru's life stories with insane time lines in order to somehow prove they were frauds. It's sickening! The energy that's spent tearing people down could be used in infinitely better ways.
 

Jul 6, 2011

Shelly T.

@Zoe: My own experience with Specktra has been pretty good. But I have to be honest and say that I prefer how it's organized in comparison to Beautylish. (For example, I still agree with those who said, in the "How To Improve Beautylish" thread, that there should be a separate section in Talk for Youtube/blogging discussions.)

Anyway, Beautylish is fantastic and has its place as well, IMO. :) There've been good discussions, and there are some fantastic people here. *nods*

Jul 6, 2011

Jane A.

I really like Beautylish. I'm pretty much a numbers girl (Accounting), who really likes make up and anything beauty and fashion. So I really like this site, because it so welcoming. I really like how a MUA can give advice to a Plain Jane like me. I really like how there is a variety of personalities here getting along... I really like the articles, reviews, videos, pictures, etc. that Beautylish provides too!

Oh and one final thing, I like how I can ask a really stupid question, and not feel stupid about it. 

Jul 7, 2011

Jackee M.

I am so sorry that some of you have felt like you were judged, criticized, excluded, etc., on/from any beauty site. That is so wrong and unfair! @Niki D I think I might know which site you are talking about, but I won't throw names out either! Moving on...

I just joined Beautylish a couple of weeks ago and I am so amazed at how friendly and welcoming everyone has been! There seems to be a great level of respect amongst the members of the community and I truly hope it's something that never changes.

Jul 8, 2011

Drea L.

Bumping this because it's such a worthy thread<33

I know EXACTLY how you feel - I was actually on the search of a new beauty social site because the one I was on before was very vain, narcissistic & rude.

What I love about this is that this place is SO nice - so helpful, so sweet & I really hope it stays that way. Daaww<3 GROUP HUGGG haha

Jul 9, 2011

Niki D.

HUUUUGGG!!! <3 <3 <3 lol

Jul 9, 2011

Gabbi D.

Ahh, cliques... they can be okay, as some pointed out as it brings together those of common interests, and a problem when they are super exclusive and shun people. I'm happy that I haven't really found a problem here... And somewhat surprised at how easy I find it talking to others on this site~

Jul 9, 2011

Jackee M.

@Smashley I couldn't agree with you more!! My goodness! I find that women can be so hateful, petty, catty, etc., toward one another. It's really sad! Often you think that once you're done with high school; the drama ends! That is so not the case. I think the drama continues and even gets worse as an adult. 

Jul 11, 2011

Niki D.

I absolutely agree with everything you're saying Mandy, well spoken. It is a shame, everyone wants to believe they've grown since high school but the core behaviors really have just taken different aim.