Non-binary/genderless outfit help.

Jan 4, 2016

Hannah K.

As a few of you know, I'm genderfluid which is where there is a fluidity between my gender. Most often, I am Hannah (female, my birth gender) and some of the time I am Sam (male) and Sam/Hannah (non-binary, genderless) I had a massive meltdown today at school because my gender changed from female to male very quickly and I had dressed for Hannah at 8am this morning before school. My gender changed to Sam (hence my name on here) at about 2pm this afternoon, leaving me feel incredibly dysphoric of my body and upset because I didn't look like who I am. I couldn't go home to change as I had lots of work today and so was stuck at school in a girly playsuit and tights.

I was wondering if any of you know any non-binary (genderless) outfits which I can wear so I don't get this sort of dysphoria. I was thinking a mens tshirt and leggings and my Dr Martens but it's very samey when I wear that everyday. If anyone knows of any masculine or genderless outfits which I can wear would be great. I have large boobs (38DD) and my measurements b/w/h are 38/30/37. I don't really have a style per-se (if I like something, I'll wear it), but if I wear baggy trousers I have to wear a tighter top and vice versa otherwise I look like a box.

Thank you!

Jan 4, 2016

Kailey L.

I think you're probably on the right track! I think jeans, like bootcut or "boyfriend" style, might work better than leggings. As for your top, I think t-shirts, and nondescript button-downs, thermals, etc.would probably suit your needs best. If you wrap your chest, are you able to leave the wrap at school or somewhere it's accessible if this happens abruptly again?

Jan 4, 2016

Hannah K.

Thank you! I have a pair of Mom jeans which make me feel happier with myself and work well with tshirts, I forgot about those! I don't wrap my chest (there's a few dangers that go with it) but I have a really heavy impact sports bra that I can wear, I could probably keep that in my school bag:) thank you Kailey!

Jan 4, 2016

Hannah K.

We're a right mix over where I am but a lot of the girls wear leggings, loafers and pretty tops so it's quite difficult for me to look boyish but with people knowing I'm a girl (as I haven't come out publicly). I was thinking of a bomber jacket because they can make girlie outfits look more masculine :)

Jan 4, 2016

Alyx T.

My best friend in school was gender fluid (though he has now gone through most of the hormone replacement therapy and will be having surgery soon to transition from she to he fully) but I would have extra clothes in my locker for days like you had. She never came out publicly but would generally dress very boyish either way (straight cut or skinny jeans, t-shirts, baggy sweaters, track pants, nothing girly) but I had dressy shirts and a few pairs of pants for days where she felt like she. I'd keep tighter jeans for days she felt cold and wanted a baggy sweater or a girlier loose button up on top, and boot cut or looser jeans when she wanted a tighter top, even just a tank top, since she was also very busty and a summer dress. But you could do the opposite and have track pants and a loose t shirt, or skinny jeans and a large men's button up tucked in or not. What would help a lot on really masculine days would be a zip up hoodie in black or with a band logo on the back. Most often it was a men's large Metallica zip up sweater done half up over a blank loose t shirt and a sports bra as well and it would hide her bust quite well.

Sorry for the long paragraph, but I hope this helps. Seeing my best friend struggle with that for so long was incredibly hard until we got into a routine of a text every morning saying which gender day it was where wed meet in the opposite bathroom and I'd bring clothes suited better for the day than what was worn out of the house. But if your family and friends know it helps a lot, his didn't and was kind of conservative so it was even harder to get out of the house in anything really masculine or loose without his mom saying something and making him change into something more fitting. But if you can keep an option or two in a bag in your locker or on you, it'll really help even just with security of knowing that you aren't trapped in the wrong outfit.

Jan 4, 2016

Hannah K.

Thanks Erin! No no it's fine, doesn't offend me at all :) Samantha is a lovely name!:)

Jan 4, 2016

Hannah K.

You are absolutely incredible Alyx! That is such a lovely thing to do for your friend, he's very lucky to have you! I'm definitely both female and male so won't have to go through HRT and whatnot but those tips were so helpful! I haven't come out publicly because the people at my school seem very closed minded. I've only come out to my best friend (who is openly gay). Your outfit ideas were really good, I'm actually trying on a few outfits now and I really like the button up and skinny jeans idea, I'd thought of wearing it open but that did nothing to hide my bust so wearing it closed hopefully will! I have one of my boyfriends hoodies which is larger on me so hopefully that will help too! It really, really helped, thank you so much! It's difficult with gender because I can wake up one morning and be Hannah, dress for Hannah and wear makeup for Hannah but then in the middle of the day I'll transition and be Sam, or nothing. My parents and family don't know as they can be a little mocking of it, they took a while to get used to my best friend. My mum and dad aren't really bothered by what I wear which is really helpful (I went through a tomboy phase from the age of 7-11 which I don't think I ever grew out of, just hid) and I wear Dr Martens a lot (since I was 12) which are typically very boyish shoes. Again, thank you so much! You have really helped me, it's brilliant to see that there are people like you who'd really go the extra mile for their friends and help them like that.

Jan 4, 2016

Millie C.

Skinny jeans, and perhaps tees with graphics on? As well as converse/vans. :)

Jan 4, 2016

Hannah K.

Thanks Millie!

Jan 5, 2016

Justine S.

I went through a very androgynous phase in high school/college where I only ever dressed in clothes that could be considered masculine. Very seldom did I wear skirts or dresses. At one point I also had a Mohawk and a buzz cut. What my saving grace was, was cardigans. Cardigans are very neutral and at the time I was in high school everyone wore them. So I would pare them with skinny jeans and a loose fitting band tee and a cardigan. I also stuck to colors like maroon, burgundy, black, white and grey. At that time I really didn't have an ass and I still have small boobs so the whole covering larger boobs I can't help you with. Also cardigans look great with dr martens and that's basically all k wear since winter has started. Flannels are great too. I own a bunch of them and frequently borrow my husbands.