i need advice ladies :/

Nov 11, 2011

Kailyn D.

im sorry to just like slap this on you its just i dont really know who else to ask! lol well my boyfriend keeps making me feel... idk! but like i made an apt. to have a tour of a beauty school and i was super excited so i told him and he was like "what are you even looking to gain from these.. like if you have questions why dont you just call? why do you need to have a tour its not like a university where you will be living there" and to me its important i go so i told him that and he was like oohhh okkaay? and when he saw i had two blogs he asked me why? but it just because i do cause i like it.. and now he just sent me and email and said "so how come you always post make up stuff if you have a separate fb profile for your makeup stuff? " and
i said "to get people who dont follow my blog to get interested people who dont "like" hairdare on fb cant see those pic, whenever you ask me questions like this i feel like your calling me stupid" and he said " Well like every single day you have like 5 make up posts it seems haha " am i over reacting?.... its bothering me alot... like WHO cares if i post pics on my fb... im his gf why is he making a big deal? shouldnt he be happy that im passionate about something? if you could give me you non bias advice i would greatly appreciate it :/ thank you so much  

Nov 11, 2011

Jasmine K.

i agree with everything u said....he should be supportive of your wants and goals in life at all times...obviously this is something that means alot to you....there are plenty of people that do much more in terms of getting their name out there and there is never anything wrong with promoting yourself and your brand! that is that your suppose to do!!!! MY personal opinion i would tell him how much it bothers you...it might be that he honestly doesnt realize that the things he says bother you at all...and if u talk to him and it seems like he doesnt care that the things he says bother you then honestly i would have to question alot about the state of the relationship....if you feel that the relationship is worth more then this disagreement and lack of support then simply tell him if you dont like my comments about makeup on MY facebook...then dont read them...simple as that...communication is key in any relationship....REMEMBER dont let ANYONEs negativity make you question who you are and what goals you want to reach....good luck to you in reaching your goals and in your relationship!!!!

Nov 11, 2011

Soma S.

It's perfectly okay to feel that way... sometimes, our male significant others don't quite understand why we do the things we do... and it's our job to show them the light. Easier said than done though, haha.

Just explain to him it's important you want to tour the facility so that you can see what your money will be going into. It's important to shop around [even with schools] to see what you're getting dollar for dollar. It also helps you establish a network with any faculty or students while you're there to help ease your way into their curriculum without feeling like someone just tossed you into the middle of a tiger pit. You can't quite call to inquire about things you have yet to see, nor know it exists if you're not there in person.

As for your blogs and networking, just assure him there is a method to your madness, and it's all a positive part of your life that you enjoy. He doesn't have to enjoy it - and it would mean a lot to you if he supported it. It's a simple "yes" or "no" answer as to whether or not he wants to. If he doesn't get it, all you have to tell him is that it makes you happy - and that should make him happy.

You're not overreacting at all! Sometimes, they just don't get it. Everyone has their hobbies and happy distractions... bring up his love for cars, sports, music or games. Then compare and contrast that with how you feel about your passion for makeup. Eventually, they either see what you're trying to explain, or they'll tire of the conversation and leave you alone to do what you need to do and support you silently.

My guy completely supports me, even yells at me when I don't blog or do something productive. It wasn't always so easy, and much harder to explain color theory to a guy that is literally colorblind. I get the "I don't get it" look when I wear vivid bright colors... [I'm sure it's because it probably looks like an acid trip on my face w/ whatever it translates to him through his eyes] - but if they love you enough to sit there, smile and say, "I think you look great, and keep it up" - even if they don't understand... I'd say, "Mission accomplished".  =)

Nov 11, 2011

Kailyn D.

thank you so much.. that all is very true.. i love him so much and we have been together for a while more then a year, i feel like he supports me but his questioning me makes me feel like its stupid? ya know? i know he loves me alot, but i feel like hes having alot of trouble understanding why i do things! my cousin helped me realize that me posting my makeup on MY profile and my hairdare profile is like when goes to the gym befor practice! like i dont usderstand why he went to a college that far away just to polevault... i never questioned him i know thats what he wanted! and him going to the gym befor practice.. i think its dumb!! your going to be working out anyways why not go on a day off?! i never ask him that stuff so im going to point that out to him tomorrow im going to have a serious discussion with him

Nov 11, 2011

Kailyn D.

thank you both for your advice it means alot that you would help a complete stranger! <3 its people like you who proves that there is good people in the world! 

Nov 11, 2011

Jasmine K.

no problem good luck with your relationship lady!

Nov 11, 2011

Soma S.

No worries! Sometimes, they just DON'T get it! That's when you don't know whether you want to choke them or hug them for being so clueless! Hahahah... don't worry about it too much. He'll come around eventually.  =D

Nov 11, 2011

Kailyn D.

you guys are great! :) i feel so much better! 

Nov 11, 2011

DJ M.

You definitely deserve support no matter what your hobby/obsession/passion is! It may take time, but he's gotta learn that his lack of support hurts your feelings and bothers you. Sometimes you find guys that have to be shown this and some guys don't. If you're serious about each other, then have an honest talk with him. Sometimes when we tell our guy that something bothers us we do it in a way that they perceive to be an attack even if we're not yelling. Let him know you need his support regardless of what you're doing--blogging, going to school etc.--because he's IMPORTANT to you. Sometimes they just don't see what they're doing to us ;)

I'm lucky my husband is supportive even if he doesn't necessarily want to hear about the new latest and greatest shade of lipstick or eye shadow ;) Your boyfriend may just need to hear it from you in a way that makes him really understand what this means to you. This is important stuff ;) Chin up and good luck!

Nov 11, 2011

Kailyn D.

thank you! i agree i will talk to him tomorrow! your lucky i hope he will get to that point! thank you so much for the advice! i cant tell you how much i appreciate it! :)

Nov 11, 2011

Kailyn D.

yes it is!! the two ive looked at one was 18,000 yes 18,000 and the other was 17,000 thats why i thought it was a good idea to go look he sent me amessage saying that he isnt trying to be rude he just doesnt understand :/ so im going to talk to him tonight! :) thank you smashley! 

Nov 13, 2011

Sarah K.

ok soooo i was reading ur first post and i wanted to reply but as i read everyone elses post i think they pretty much hit everything dead on lol!!! but i just wanted to shout out to all the chicas here because its sooo nice to have other girls understand what ur going through and whats even more amazing is that none of us know each other but yet we still can connect on a deaper level. so yea I just thought i'd throw that out there. cant wait to get to know all of you beauty babes!!!

Be Beautiful!!
sarah 

Nov 13, 2011

Angela W.

Sounds like your boyfriend might be a little jealous of all the attention and effort you put into your blogs and facebook. The mature reaction would be to share in your excitement for this interest of yours and support you by encouraging you, not try to bring you down or make you feel like it's silly. Unfortunately, a lot of guys end up feeling like they're competing for your affections- even when that's totally untrue. So make sure he's getting the verbal TLC he's obviously looking for. You have a very mature understanding of the situation and how you'd like him to support you but he's obviously just not emotionally able to do that just yet.

It sounds like you want to turn this into a career possibility so all of your blogging and facebooking isn't exactly just for fun. But consider how all this might seem to your bf- he might think you're just showing off (again, he'd be wrong- but try to see it from this vantage point just to understand how he might feel).

While beauty stuff is super exciting and interesting to us, most guys just don't get it. They just think it's all about trying to compete with other girls and prove we're the prettiest thing out there. For most of us I don't think that's the case at all- I think we just appreciate beauty and want to share it.. but I can see how some people might not get that. Maybe your bf is one of them?

Another thing I've come to realize recently is that not everyone wants to hear the 24/7 updates of the things I'm pasisonate about. Sometimes I get a little carried away when talking about MY stuff and I don't realize that I'm boring people to tears! It's ok to have your own hobbies and passions- you can share the really important stuff but don't feel like your man has to be all-included in every post you make. He might appreciate it a whole lot more.. from afar.. where he doesn't have to pretend to know what you're talking about! And in return maybe you won't have to listen to him try and compete with convos about his latest epic dirtbike adventure or video game marathon.

Finally, just tell him how you're feeling- that you'd appreciate some support- exactly how you expressed it on here (it was very mature and reasonable!). If he's worth your effort he's going to hear you out and want to understand where you're coming from. Luckily for you, you've got tons and tons of time to figure all this stuff out (I see you're 18- that's an amazing time). So keep ur head up and don't squash your passion just for your guy... if he can't hang then OOOHHHH WELLL, on to the next!

Nov 15, 2011

Kailyn D.

sarah- I honestly couldnt agree with you more... for all of you girls to even take the time for me a complete stranger, and type out all of this advice means so much!!! I love that everyone on here is so willing to help everyone in all different ways!! so thank you all times 100! xox
angela- your advice is sooo very helpful!! thank you for opening me up to others point of veiw i wasnt thinking of! your right! i just really want to thank you for typing all that out for me! This has been one of the many things wearing me down and your advice as well as the others above have helped me so much!

your great ladies!! xox its great to see such compassionate women!! 

Nov 16, 2011

Kailyn D.

thank you sojo! :) i appreciate your help alot!! feel free to find me on here if you need advice as well! :) im so glad to meet new friends who understand how i feel about all of this! not only with the guy but with beauty and makeup in general! 

Nov 16, 2011

Angela W.

Hahaha, yeah damn I seriously wrote a novel! I'm happy it helped a little tho : )

Nov 16, 2011

Shelley W.

As a married woman I couldn't walk away and not give you advice on this. I don't know how serious you are about this guy but point blank he is obviously very insecure with himself to belittle your dreams/goals. I'm attending college full-time while raising three kids PLUS writing a novel and let me tell you I wouldn't be able to do it all if it wasn't for the support of my husband. When I feel like throwing in the towel he is right there cheering me on and telling me to stick with it. As I mentioned, I don't know how serious you two are but you really need a b/f who has your back 110%. And congrats on wanting to go to school. :)

Nov 16, 2011

Krysten C.

I wouldn't worry about it. Most guys don't understand this at all. Heck my whole family thinks its a waist of time and energy and have no idea about my blog or fb page. Very few people actually know about it because I know they would bring me down. I personally would tell him that I don't put down what you like to do no matter how stupid I think it is so don't down what I like to do. Besides I think its very obvious that WE understand and have your back.

Nov 17, 2011

Kailyn D.

yes i agree he should be there backing me up! We are serious, so if we are he should be just as supportive as i am to his working out and pole vaulting! His pole vaulting honestly scares me more then a cat in a dog pound! I dont like seein' him upside down 17 some feet in the air! but i will still be sitting right there by the runway cheering him on! And when hes frustrated with a bad jump ive been there to say hey stop thinking about it so much clear your head and get back out there (i used to be a hurdler, longjump, and triple jumper so i know how when your heads all fogged up!) and im not sayin hes never been there to back me up i just feel like with all of this stuff he is lasse faire! and it frustrates me! i appreciate your help ladies! thank you from the bottom on my heart!! your advice has really helped me!! And him an i have been talkin alot about it! And i honestly see him coming around more and more everyday! :)