The Nonsense Has To Stop!!

Jul 5, 2015

Tina S.

All you young ladies have made such valid points. more maturity, kindness, genuine support and advice please!! and what may sound honest to one may seem rude or blunt to another we are all on the same team round here xx more love n light to you all xx

Jul 5, 2015

Kelly H.

That's exactly why I no longer post. I try to teach my daughter to be kind to other women and to always be confident and comfortable enough with herself to never be petty or cruel. I find the lack of respect for human kind in general saddening, but especially when it is ladies bullying other ladies, I will never understand why it is so hard for others to treat each other with kindness.

Jul 5, 2015

Tiffany B.

^^ agreed @ Sabrina and we appreciate that we are heard :)

Jul 5, 2015

Rissa G.

Good point.. I get so annoyed seeing people go back and forth on who's right or wrong and they take it to a whole new level! Last time I checked, this is an open forum, and I highly doubt most people on here are professionals. You should always take advice with a grain of salt, because for the most part it is from personal experience on here. I don't see the need to belittle someone because they don't agree with something you said. Agree to disagree, ladies. It's really not that serious. Remember, what works for one may not for another.

Jul 5, 2015

Sabrina K.

Another thing girls, I promise you that we take all your concerns very seriously and we do our best to keep a good flow of thread! But yes it seems that every so often we will get folded with a trend and see 100 contour threads in a day for months! Also we know that there's a huge lack of comen courtesy, we do work on getting people to follow back and to just interact on the threads they make and believe me we get a lot of heat for that!
But you all mean a lot to us and we want this site to run as smoothly for you guys!

Jul 5, 2015

Kim M.

Like it Sabrina :)

Jul 5, 2015

Sabrina K.

It's so great to see so many of you guys backing this up!
We are overwhelmed by the hate and nasty-ness sometimes!
I honestly don't understand where all the sisterly love has gone!
And I understand why many loved members leave us at times.

What about all of us here on this thread start a beginning! Where we spread extra love and kill all the hate with kindness! So whenever someone freaks out on a thread, don't give them the satisfaction of attention, ignore them and contact us mods and we will deal with it! The more attention they get the more they will keep on doing it!

What do you all say? Let's for a community of love and freeze out all the hate!

Jul 5, 2015

Tiffany B.

Now, I'm not referring to constructive criticism but it comes down to the good old fashion saying "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Very saddened that this is happening here, but honestly I haven't been on lately and the next couple sentences will explain why.

Personally what's been most frustrating to me is I see the same exact post every day, or it feels like it anyways. I just wish people would check to see if someone has posted about it before posting their questions that have probably already been answered. If your question hasn't been answered I can understand making a new thread, I do this every time I post a question.

Also what is up with this whole filtering everything deal? How can anyone give you advice if you can't even really tell what the makeup looks like?

I'm not usually a ranter but its been really bothering me lately.

Jul 5, 2015

Kim M.

I completely agree. I've definitely cut down on how much I've posted. this group is about learning and exploring new ideas and techniques. everyone has different ways of achieving looks and stuff, bit people can be nice and respectful when sharing ideas and thoughts. thank you Shelley.

Jul 5, 2015

Roz X.

I must admit, I've taken extended breaks from the board due to such nonsense. One can disagree without being disagreeable...as they say. I don't feel sharing info regarding the dangers of something is disrespectful or unkind, but instead the manner in which it is done that is offputting and sometimes meanspirited. I try to never dismiss another's thoughts, but instead perhaps address what may concern me or speak from a place of experience. Members need to embrace that discussion and debate is not equal to insult and harping. It is truly disheartening and I'm glad you are addressing it, but disappointed that it has cost us some wonderful, longtime users. Thank you, Shelley.

Jul 5, 2015

Nicole M.

Is absurd*

Jul 5, 2015

Nicole M.

I soo agree with everyone here. This app should be where we help people and give them tips and tricks and share makeup looks or whatever. I don't think people should cut others down because they don't like it! Some things posted are terrible. I love this app and I am only 13 but I still think the lack of maturity in some comments on absurd.

Jul 5, 2015

Lori C.

I so agree shelley. This should be an information sharing forum not high school bitch fest. The lack of maturity in some posts is staggering.

Jul 5, 2015

Samantha C.

Sometimes the harshest comments we hear are from other women and that is sad. You can give constructive criticism without being rude. You can disagree with someone without being disrespectful. I myself am 30 years old and I am seeing the next generation coming up and we have to give them a good example. Nasty comments, shaming, belittling, and cutting another person down is not how we want them to follow.I love this site and check it daily, but some of the things being posted are horrible. I know there are some younger users on here that read these posts and it shapes some of their views.

Jul 5, 2015

Diana T.

You tell em Shelley! I completely agree with you! There have been times when I took a hiatus because I felt like girls were ganging up on me trying to tell me or someone else that we are wrong for offering advice (that usually is of a natural or DYI) nature and I'm sorry but if someone is specifically asking for a DIY or natural remedy then who are they to tell the person not to do it!?! I don't go around on other people's posts and say "don't put those harmful and carcinogenic chemicals on your face" so don't tell me or another beauty to not put sugar or lemon or whatever we want to put on our faces - it just seems like there is this double standard where people think they know everything (when they are far from experts and even the experts have varying opinions on most skincare/natural/DIY stuff) to where I get tired of even posting... Or just defending people's right to put whatever they want on their skin or face without the negative comments from people saying not to do it... And of course I've seen some really ugly and nasty words used on this site to describe women in general (like slut shaming, etc) and it really makes me mad so I speak up about it but then people come back saying me taking offense is taking it too far - when I know no one wants to be called those ugly words so why let anyone use them in the first place? I'm sorry but I agree with you Shelley that if I see something nasty or rude comments then I will speak up and call people out on them because I truly believe that "silence is defeat and my solution is to speak" and if I don't correct someone for being offensive or abusive then nothing will change - so thank you for keeping an eye out for these things - as well as other moderators for keeping this community positive :)

Jul 5, 2015

Shelley W.

I'm going to cut right to the chase and say that the rude, snide, disrespectful comments that have been spouted off has to stop!! We all have opinions and we have the right to voice them but when the dialogue becomes a verbal war when one disagrees then we have a serious problem.

I joined this site because I love all things beauty. I love sharing what I learned over the years from my personal experience and the resources that are available to me I'm able to share with you all. Its my little oasis of relaxation.

For the past few months I've noticed an uptick in rude behavior amongst users here. And you know what's crazy?! Ugly words and just flat out disrespect coming forth from some very beautiful young ladies. We've lost quite a few great long-time users due to the behavior of others on here and a lot of it has to do with the mean girl mentality that has blossomed on here. A few times I wanted to leave myself.

I'm pretty much tired of all the mud-slinging that has been going on here. This is suppose to be a safe and inviting community for all and instead its turned into a not so fun place to be.

If you don't agree with someone's opinion the ideal response shouldn't be snide and just flat out disrespectful. I'm tired of the mean girl mentality that is running loose within the BL community. As a mod I'm not going to tolerate it anymore. If I see such ugliness I'm going to call the user out on it. I deal with too much pain and sadness in my line of work and I'll be damned if I come here and see ugliness being expressed in words. We should be suppprting and encouraging one another...not spit demeaning words.