Bullying And Self Harm Help.

Jan 7, 2013

Kaila P.

So I have a problem. I cut myself. Yes I understand it's immature and stupid and selfish. But I have a few good reasons for my cutting. I have one parent. One brother. We live next door to my grandparents. I'm 15. And my dad abandoned me and my family when I was 4. I've had to work for the things I want like any other teenager except when it come to the same old question why don't your parents buy you these things? I grew up on a hill in southern California and continue to live there today. My mom has one job and I'm just barley tring to find one. It's my first year in high school. I have a boyfriend, his name is Chris and I'm very protective of him. There's girls at school who harass me everyday and they throw things at me and start rumors. Last year I lost my varginity. He played me. And I needed up pregnant with his child. I had an abortion 6 months ago. It haunts me everyday and I feel unbelievably guilty. So I tried telling the guy ~his name was drake~ that I had an abortion and he shoved me on the ground and now calls me a whore everyday. My name was written on bathroom walls saying I'm a whore and a slut. One day I walked into the bathroom, it was the day I came back from my 5 day suspension for punching drake in the face, these girls came in ~one was my ex best friend~ they smashed my face into the ground and the sink in the bathroom. I was in the hospital for 3 days I had a concusion. I lied and said I slipped in the bathroom and the cuts on my wrist were from the cat. My boyfriend doesn't know they hurt me. But he tries to protect me but he can't protect me from everyone. The school thinks I'm bulling ppl and that's why I get picked on. I've almost commited suicide 3 times in the last 2 months. I've tried to get hit on the free way near my school, I've tried to slit my throat in the bathroom at school, and I've tried to drink sooo much that I just pass out and die. None of it worked. Or I was to scared to do it. My mom doesn't know that I've tried this. So I need help from someone older than me... Please if u have any advice please help me.

Jan 7, 2013

Nicole D.

That's so sad, i feel so bad for you. I think that you should try talking to an adult or friend about this like your mom or boyfriend because you shouldn't have to deal with all this alone. It's so mean how people could bully someone into hurting themselves.

Jan 7, 2013

Kaila P.

Thanks. And I mean i don't rlly have any friends besides my boyfriend but he just gets mad so I feel bad for talking about myself and my mom over reacts and blames me so I'm alone in this sitchuation. 

Jan 7, 2013

Emily W.

Hon I think you need to talk to school officials or a counselor. No one should have to deal with what you are going through all alone, and there are resources out there to help you. Make an appointment with your school's councilor, a psychologist, or even call an abuse or suicide-prevention hotline. They can direct you to local resources to help you. Good luck honey, don't ever give up.

Jan 7, 2013

Nicole D.

Even though you can't really talk to your mom or bf, you can still talk to a school counselor. Try to stay strong and don't let anyone bully you into trying to hurt yourself any more. I know it must be hard but I truly believe that your a good person and that your better than they say you are.

Jan 7, 2013

Courtney O.

Oh my gosh.. No one should ever go through that. My email is on my profile, if you ever need to talk, shoot me a message, love! All you can do is think positive, try to notice the beautiful things in life and remember that everything gets better! Stay strong and by the way your are beautiful!

Jan 7, 2013

Nicole D.

This is an add on to what I said before: you are never alone and none of it is your fault.

Jan 7, 2013

Kaila P.

Thank you :) so much. I'm happy there's someone out there that knows that I can't do this alone:) my school is so small we don't have a consoulr :/ but I'm going to try to find a hotline:)

Jan 7, 2013

Courtney O.

There's so many more people that are with you rather than against you! Always remember that. I'm glad you are going to find a hotline! :) I'm sure so many people on this website will always be here for you, including me! 

Jan 7, 2013

Kaila P.

Believe me I am more than thankful for everything I have. <3 and I know I'm not the only one 

Jan 7, 2013

Erin W.

Kaila this is serious. You need to talk to someone. I'm offering you my ear. No one should go through this. I live in Massachusetts and I'm married with 2 boys. Please email me If you want.  Erw1021@gmail.com

Jan 7, 2013

Erin W.

Please email me anytime.  Please

Jan 7, 2013

Jorie C.

omg. Is their at least one person that you can talk to about your problems. I am so sorry to hear that you are getting bullied. Please do not harm yourself anymore just know that you are loved by many people and try to ignore the kids at school. You can talk to me if you need. 

Jan 7, 2013

Aubrie D.

I suffered from self mutilation as well at your age too and it took me a long time to get over it. I ended up seeking counseling and got on anti depressents. you should try talking to someone and maybe you should switch schools. report those assholes to your school officials and to the police. don't keep quiet because chances are that those people are doing the same thing to others. 

Jan 7, 2013

Kaila P.

Thank you all of you:) and I will take everything you say into consideration <3 I'm planning on reporting them to the cops next. And hopefully they'll get arrested. 

Jan 7, 2013

Jorie C.

Your welcome anytime you need to talk I am all ears. I can totally understand how you feel I use to get bullied really bad about there years ago.

Jan 7, 2013

Jorie C.

*three

Jan 7, 2013

Erin W.

Please please do it. If you email me i can get some info for you privately 

Jan 7, 2013

Kierstin G.

I know some people already said this but if you need to talk to anyone just email me kierstin94@yahoo.com ill listen if you just need some advice or someone to talk to

Jan 7, 2013

Cecilia C.

Sweetie, you should find some professional guidance, maybe a school counselor? I understand how hard it is to cope with not having two parents around. My dad died when I was eleven because of his own bad choices and that affects me to this day in my relationship with other people. It's hard when they aren't around despite the reason. I remember feeling miserable and that things would never look up for me. But you know what I did? I found God and I very luckily met a wonderful, wonderful guy who was been through some terrible things in his own life. I had God to pray to and to rely on and I had my boyfriend to vent to. And it sounds as though you have a boyfriend that cares about you quite a bit, and I am sure that he would do anything in his power to make you feel better. I hope I didn't offend you with my religious talk, but it worked for me and I felt it was worth sharing. High school will end and those girls that pick on you? Where will they be? They won't know how to handle the real world. They bully you to make them think they are above you, and they're not. Suicide is never, never the answer. When those girls pick on you, laugh in their face and walk away with your head held high. If they try to physically harm you then you need to tell a school authority and they need to be put in their place. You are a beautiful girl and if your boyfriend is the only true friend you have then don't talk to anyone else because you don't need anyone that isn't going to stick by your side through thick and thin. What about your mother or your brother? I'm sure if you let them know how badly you have been feeling, they would help you. If you need anything get ahold of me dear. 

Jan 7, 2013

Loren B.

First Kaila it was very brave and the right thing to share these difficulties with us and I hope you will share them with a Councellor or someone who will believe and help you directly. Second is to please believe me when I say that suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. I suffered similarly at your age and also sought to hurt myself to end the pain. But please believe me that it can and will get better. You have options, you can get a fresh start at another maybe charter school or home school for a while to give immediate relief to this bullying and torment. You might benefit from Counceling- you need to be able to talk freely- we are always here for you and we know you are more beautiful and strong and courageous than all this and that anyone would be traumatized if hunted the way you have been. Keep talking, councelors, school officials, police, the lady at the library. Keep telling your story so that it has no power over you. Believe me because I've been right there in you spot and I move further and further from that hurt every day and thank the Beautylish community for helping and I am here for you. Stay with us and be beautiful and courageous and strong together. 

Jan 8, 2013

Loren B.

We are still here. I hope u are too. Email me if you want. Lorenrenee@aol.com

Jan 8, 2013

Holly N.

I used to self harm, for about a year until i realised that "self harm" is exactly what it is. I was just putting myself through even more pain than i was already in, i had serve depression, serious family problems and i had just gone through a break up. I cant help much with anything else but self harming is something i know about, i know how it feels and i know what its like. Now when i look at my scars i am proud because im still here when so many people in our situation are not. I promise you its going to get better

Jan 8, 2013

Jackie A.

hey hun can I just say that I am sorry for what you are going through I have never been bullied but both my older and younger sister have and I just think its something nobody has to go through .. I know what its like to go through things alone and I also know that you don't have to go through your problems alone there is always one person you can come to whether its a teacher a counselor principal neighbor of even a person online who can help talk about it and advice you .. I'm here if you ever need to talk my email is jackieloovee@yahoo.com please email ne whenever you want I'm all ears and I will.try to help with whatever I can and I truly believe you are a beautiful person that has her while life ahead of her .. 

Jan 8, 2013

Jackie A.

so don't let others bring you down ..