Well, look at you. It’s 7:54 a.m., and you’re ready to head off to work. Early. My god, when does that happen? And check you out: hair behaving itself, makeup ready, outfit painstakingly de-pet-haired with multiple roller sheets. One last peek in the bathroom mirror and you’re ready to greet the world. But hey, since you have a second—want a sneaky last-minute beauty trick or two to amp up your look just a titch? I’m going to assume you cried, “HELL YES!” and pumped your fist in the air.
Here’s a list of 30-seconds-or-less quickie beauty tips to try, compiled and tried by yours truly:
Take a tissue and gently wipe your entire face with it to get rid of excess powder. Seriously. I know it seems counterintuitive because your makeup’s already done, but try it: Take one tissue (any kind, or a piece of toilet paper) and, when your makeup is 100 percent finished, run the tissue lightly over your entire face, paying extra attention to your hairline, nose, and jawline. This removes any excess powder or product you might not even know is there. Wiping lightly works better than blotting, and trust me, you’ll be surprised at how much makeup ends up on the tissue.
Believe it or not, I learned this here—a very weird series of ’40s educational films for girls on how to “make the most” of your looks. I’m deeply, deeply obsessed with these films and hereby invite you into my eerie YouTube lair.
All you need is your face lotion and your fingers—put a small dot of lotion on your fingertips and slick it upwards from your cheekbones towards the outer edge of your eye after you’re totally done with your makeup. Lucas’ Papaw Ointment works well for this, too, and has slightly more sheen than regular moisturizer. This makes your skin look moisturized and dewy-fresh, and causes strange women in your office bathroom to stop you, put a hand on your shoulder, and say, “You know, you really have beautiful skin.” Thank you, and please don’t touch me in a bathroom, person I don’t know.
If you went out last night and your hair still smells like a Las Vegas casino but still looks fine, rub a good-smelling dryer sheet over it to mask odors and pull out the stank (and fight static!) in ten seconds flat. IT’S A MIRACLE!
Grab your highlighter pencil—I like Too Faced Instant Attitude Brow Lift—and draw a line directly over the top line of your eyebrows. Blend in until the highlighter is almost invisible. This gives you a more awake look and makes your arches look like they’re slightly lifted. Neato!
Your hair holds onto scent better than your skin does, which is why you still smell like a bonfire after soaping up your body in the creek outside the tent. Hair (as we know) just hangs onto smells. We will now make that work in our favor. Take your favorite perfume and lightly mist a squirt over the top of your head, or flip your hair upside down and spritz into it if you want extra volume. You’ll smell it all day.
To make it look like you got 13 hours of sleep, try lining your bottom waterline with white liner. GAME-CHANGER, y’all. I’m mad, because my friend just taught me this, and it’s such an easy trick, and so weirdly effective in my never-ending quest to make my eyes look much bigger and brighter. Do this lil’ trick, and you’ll be venturing into “ anime-character” territory in 30 seconds flat. (In a good way, obvs.)