Have you ever dated a guy who, on your second date with him, revealed he was a sex offender in the state of Ohio? I have. Have you ever dated someone for a while only to discover that his supposed roommate was actually his live-in girlfriend? Guilty again. Have you ever dated a guy who made high-pitched girlie noises when you kissed him? Me too! Laugh and cringe all you want, but maybe your dating stories are worse than mine. Stories that could easily have me waving the surrender flag and bowing at your feet screaming: “I’m not worthy!”
There are also times in many of our lives, including mine, when our relationship woes are not so funny and really test our belief in ourselves. Fact is, for some women, it’s not easy to see how much potential we have and how great we actually are, so we ignore intuition and stay in relationships that are clearly wrong for us because we think we don’t deserve better or fear that “better” will never come.
You may be saying to yourself, this is all true, but how does it relate to fitness and health? For one thing, there is no separation between mind and body. Negative emotions about the self do affect your health. An unhealthy mindset creates unhealthy habits. Dr. Joel Furhman writes in his book Eat for Health: “When you have a legitimate reason to believe in yourself, you will care for yourself better and be more inclined to eat right.”
Staying in an unhealthy relationship can create stress and lower self confidence. This then can lead to a more sedentary lifestyle, excessive drinking and eating. Other negative body symptoms include headaches, dizziness, high blood pressure, constipation, extreme tiredness, change in appetite, weight gain and weight loss.
Think about it like this: Have you ever noticed that after a breakup, you feel more motivated to take care of yourself and look better than ever before? Making your ex regret losing you is only one aspect of this phenomenon. If you go deeper, you will notice a greater sense of belief in yourself. And now that you’re not in an unhealthy relationship, you have the clarity and space to see that and make wiser choices. It has been proven that healthy relationships contribute to long lasting health. Studies have shown that the healthiest people in the world, those who have lived to be 100 years old and beyond, don’t all have the same healthy regimes. But one commonality—besides unbelievable genetics—holds true. They all maintain an active social life surrounded by people who appreciate and value them.
In my teens and early twenties, I abused my body with fad diets and pills. I see a direct relationship between this and the types of men I dated at the time. The way I treated my body and the men I chose to invite into my life reflected my lack of self confidence and my inability to see that I deserved better. It is so important to look at health as a puzzle with many pieces. It is never just about eating right and working out. My greatest goal for you—and my deepest desire—as your friend and leader in health, is to help you create a better and healthier relationship with yourself so that all the choices you make in life lead you to a happier, more self confident and vibrant you.
Here are a few fitness/diet tips that I practiced myself to help me get more connected to my body which, in turn, increased my self confidence and love for myself. Oh and the guys I date now aren’t that bad either.
Do a workout that best balances your personality or mood that day. Are you someone who typically has a temper or gets stressed very easily? Yoga or Pilates might be your fitness balance. Are you someone who is extremely introverted and holds all of your emotions inside? Boot camp might be calling your name. Start to pay attention to your mood. What does your body need to balance your emotions? It may change constantly, and your workouts can be your equalizer. Being in constant awareness of how your body is doing will help you create a better relationship and understanding of yourself.
After eating, pay attention to your body. When you eat, does your stomach automatically get gaseous or hurt? Is your first instinct to pop an antacid in your mouth? Before doing that, pay attention. Which foods did you just eat? Write them down and start to notice if this happens every time you eat those specific foods. It may be best to avoid those ingredients. Don’t ignore your body. It is your true companion and best friend if you let it be. It will tell you how it feels for your benefit.
If in a relationship, listen to what your body tells you. Your body is your intuition’s musical instrument. It will give you physical symptoms when something isn’t right. Examples are insomnia, an upset stomach and aches and pains in the body. Start to pay attention. Let your intuition rise up from its whisper and become a loud noise with the volume so high, you have no choice but to follow its lead. It will never steer you wrong. I promise.
Kit Rich is Los Angeles-based fitness trainer with endless exercise and nutritional know-how. Hollywood's hottest stars are addicted to Kit's unique, multi-disciplined approach that combines cardio, yoga, Pilates, and weight training. Kit's clients are immediately taken by her funny and honest approach to health and fitness. She treats her clients as she treats herself, "with a hard challenge, sensibility, sensitively, and a good laugh." Follow Kit on Twitter @kitrichfitness