Breast Cancer Awareness: Losing Hair, Losing Femininity?

by Jasmine Pansoy
Published Oct 07, 2012

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I was in high school when my Aunt Patti was diagnosed with breast cancer. This woman is like a second mother to me and has always been my advocate. She got me behind the wheel of a car even though I was deathly afraid, and told me to avoid ‘California stops’ before my driver’s test. She let me stay up late, watch cartoons at all hours of the day, and took me bowling every Friday. She made sure I didn’t put up with negativity from anyone, and to treat others the way I would like to be treated.

When we first heard the news, we took her to the ASPCA and got her a white, clumsy, big-bellied puppy named George. He comforted her through every struggle and pushed her to be active even when she was tired. During chemotherapy, she started losing hair. She was more scared of the hair loss—scared that it would never grow back again, and scared she would never feel normal again. My dad (her brother-in-law) brought in his razor one day and decided to shave his head for my aunt. When I learned how to crochet after her instruction, I did my best to make her a hat to keep her head warm.

Every year when October draws near, she doesn’t participate in the usual Breast Cancer Awareness activities—not because she doesn’t care, but because it makes her dwell on the heartache she suffered through. It was hard for my aunt losing one breast at a time, looking exhausted on a daily basis, and not having any hair. It’s hard feeling like less of a woman when you already feel physically weak.

That’s why makeup and hair have a deeper meaning for her. Even fatigued from chemo, a full face of makeup was a necessity to Aunt Patti. She told me, no matter what state she was in, taking the time to put on her makeup would make her feel so much better. Getting a wig was also a very important part of her healing process. One day, she went with a friend to a local shop to try some on for fun. The store had a private room special for cancer patients where they could try on wigs in a comfortable, safe environment. They were attentive, helpful, and even had a sales associate onboard to touch up makeup for the wigs. On our next grocery trip, a group of firemen were checking out my aunt—wavy brunette wig and all. To this day she always says, “Do you remember those guys looking at me? I didn’t even have real hair or boobs!”

Breast cancer is a disease that not only attacks the body, it attacks the feminine spirit. Thanks to pioneers like Evelyn Lauder, BCA is now a global revolution. Pink-ribboned products and monetary donations support and raise awareness, but remember that the cause is so much more than that. Tiny, humane deeds—like helping someone choose a wig, telling them they look beautiful, or simply showing support—are much more impactful. Breast cancer-free today, my aunt still has her tough days. But with patience, a positive attitude, and a bright smile, she still asks me about our next makeup playdate.

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3 days ago

Claire M.

I'd like to add that cancer is in everyone of us. It shouldn't be regarded as something that's uncontrollable. Of course you can take charge of your body and fight against it with good care taking of your body and health. And it should start right now as soon as you get to be aware of it. Prevention is the best solution!

Dec 02, 2012

Dena J.

I personally can say that cancer in general if bad enough will make u depressed. I am 24 years old and I have an aggressive form of melanoma. I went from having any scars to having 4 huge scars all over my body. That alone will make u feel down when looking in the mirror. Seeing your body be deformed in any way is a horrible thing. Im now starting radiation that will make all the scars much worse. I have no idea what the next treatments will do but I pray for the best everyday : ) but like this article says never let yourself go. It seems the days I go all out on my clothes and all I feel much better! So if u know someone going through cancer treatment that can't do it themselves always ask if they would like ur help. It means more than u know

Oct 12, 2012

Irina Y.

Thank you for sharing your story! My best friend Tatiana is fighting breast cancer right now, and she is only 27 y.o... Can you guys imagine losing not only your hair, but your breasts at such age?.. I can't.. She works at a start up, but also had a side job as a model and as a bartender, so her looks have always been really important to her... But I guess cancer doesn't care if you are young or old, beautiful or not, it just sneaks up and attacks.. I wanted to post here a link to her fundraiser, but for some reason it won't let me do so... The link to it is on my profile under 'my website' (or above my post, right under my name) - if anybody could help or spread a word it would be so greatly appreciated!

Oct 12, 2012

Wasifa A.

Loved the article! really touchy and well written!

Oct 12, 2012

peppy g.

i'm just speechless. that's so awful i'm brain-dead after reading it. i wouldn't even wish this upon my worst enemy.

Oct 11, 2012

Erika C.

God bless. I shave my head to raise money & awareness for cancer & raised $12500. It was a life changing thing for me. I did struggle with not feeling feminine when my hair was short because it was as if I was going out half dressed! Your Aunt is an inspiration <3

Oct 10, 2012

Celestina C.

Amazing story. Your aunt is a strong woman

Oct 09, 2012

Jacqueline R.

Great article <3 Congratulations to your aunt! :)

My mother is a 6 year breast cancer survivor. I still remember what a big deal it was to find a wig that was just right and have it cut and styled for her. Come to think of it, I was never really into makeup until then. I first started to appreciate the "little things" when my sister and I were still living at home going through the experience with her; chemo, wigs, false lashes, body makeup to cover the port in my mom's chest and then her reconstruction after losing one of her breasts. It really does make a huge difference to look good when you feel sick (which chemo does). I also know now that a positive attitude having support is a big deal! And all that starts with confidence, which starts with the little things :)

Oct 08, 2012

Teresa C.

If any of you would like to get involved, check out "Look Good, Feel Better," a program through American Cancer Society that provides recently diagnosed cancer patients with tons of makeup, supplies, and instruction on how to apply makeup. I met many amazing women through this program and saw how simple things like helping someone fake eyelashes by layering two different colors of eyeliner elevated their mood tremendously.