Embrace Your Curves!

by Jasmine Pansoy
Published May 04, 2012

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It was January of 2010 and I had enough. I was tired of avoiding mirrors, hiding my body behind people in photos, and stressing over shopping for clothes. I would use food as a crutch, reaching for it when I was bored, sad, lonely, or angry. It was becoming an awful habit, and a quick fix for any day I was feeling low. I’d pick an outfit to wear and think, “I guess this will have to do.” Six months later, after countless hours at the gym and a complete overhaul in my lifestyle, I stood at IMATS LA confident and comfortable in my own skin for the first time in 25 years. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.

There’s no real magic secret to weight loss. In six months I dropped approximately 50 pounds. I didn’t go on a fad diet or specific workout system, I made changes that worked for me. I took Zumba classes because I love to dance, found gym buddies who would motivate and push me to try harder, ate colorful fruits and vegetables, cut back on carbs (because those were the bulk of what I previously ate), and drank loads of water. Then I’d repeat that regimen day after day. I went from hunching over and looking at the ground to standing tall with pride. However, after a month of feeling good about myself, I started coming home from the gym, looking for instant changes as I scrutinized myself in front of the mirror. I began overworking myself to the point where I would almost pass out on the StairMaster. It became an obsession until I started working full-time. I didn’t have as much time for the gym and I started packing on the pounds. It was after gaining a bit of weight that I stopped looking at just physical appearance and really thought about how I felt as a person. I’m a naturally curvy woman—I always have been. My genes have graced me with thick thighs and a generous bust. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I started to feel sexy in my own skin, and there are two things that I can stem this realization to: body image and self-esteem.

My perception changed after I had stopped trying to attain a goal that was unreachable. My mom stopped me one day and said, “you’re getting too thin now Jasmine. Your body is not meant to be shaped like a boy, and you’re looking unhealthy.” By that point I was beginning to lose hair, and my skin was very pale. When I finally stopped obsessing over seeing my hip bones and the amount of food I was eating in a day, I was happier and less stressed out. My realization happened when I met someone who loves my curves. He helps me appreciate my form and makes me feel sexy as I am. My idea of what a healthy body should look like changed, and it helped me gain some much needed self-esteem. I’m in no way, shape or form, the perfect example of a healthy human being. I’m just me, flaws and all. I have one body and one life. I can spend the rest of my years regretting what I see and wishing I looked like someone else, or I can start appreciating and celebrating what makes me Jasmine. No matter how hard we try, some of us will never be a size two; we’re just not built that way, and that’s okay. In comparison, some girls can try to gain weight to no avail. The whole “when did this become hotter than this” trend enforces a need to put a stereotype on the female form. If I could have given myself some advice before I dived into my life change, it would be to appreciate everything that I am, even with a little bit more to love. Not only would I have been less self-conscious, I’d be happier too. By accepting the curves on my body and loving the way I feel, I have such a better outlook on how to treat my body right and live a healthy life.

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Sep 30, 2012

Laura T.

I'm so happy that you have stepped forward to address this issue that so many of us deal with every day. It's time that we step out of our self-inflicted shadows and share with other women that we are feeling the same way, because its so much more difficult to face it alone. Wen I read this article, it felt almost like I was reading a story about a point in my life, that I went through about 3 years ago. I started off dieting and exercising, and I was losing weight, but like you mentioned, it didn't seem to me that the weight was going away as quickly as I wanted it to. So, I tried harder, and harder, it became an obsession, to where I was eating less than 700 calories a day. That's when all of e weight started melting off. My husband started paying me more attention and complimenting me like never before, friends were impressed, everyone was proud. I somehow began to emotionally "feed" off of the wonderful things that people were telling me, so in turn, I tried even harder to lose more weight... I was hooked! It became mentally unstable and I got to the point to where I NEVER ate anything at all, because food had become the enemy. The only times that I would allow myself to eat food, was when I felt physically ill (nauseous and headaches), and I was literally about to pass out due to self starvation. Then, when my bones started jutting out and I was hunching over, just looking overall ill. Loved ones started telling me that I was too thin, that had never happened in my entire life, I have always been a curvier girl, so I can imagine that it was quite shocking to a lot of people. As a person, before all of this happened, I was known to be a very open and honest person who laid everything out on the table, but when all of this started, I became a person with a BIG secret, the secret that I was starving myself to death. It was not a good place to be, and I don't wish for anyone else struggling with the feelings of physical inadequacy to ever be there. Thankfully, I can look back on that period in my life and recognize what I was doing, before I killed myself in the process. I may not be as physically thin as I would like to be now that I am regularly eating food, but I through it all, I discovered that my body weight and physical characteristics have absolutely nothing to do with my worth. Through that understanding, and with commitment to loving who I am inside, the weight doesn't seem like such a burden and I'm learning to love myself, for who I am. I'm also noticing, the excess pounds start dropping the more that I don't care about them and give them the attention and focus that other things in my life deserve. Thank you for your bravery and coming forward about this issue.

Sep 09, 2012

Isabelle C.

I just read your story and I'm happy with how your self-esteem improved! I don't understand why people think so hard of women who've got curves... I mean, with some curves women look healthier, and they would feel healthier if beauty magazines didn't set a wrong norm of beauty. My mom, contrary to the beauty standards magazines set, thinks I risk to end up "fat" because I'm eating two chocolate squares a day and I've got love handles! :S Thing is, I'm happy with my love handles, I'm not bony at all, I've got curves and my skin is super soft!! Why shouldn't every woman in the world feel happy and proud of that?!
Anyway, I spent 9 months in the U.K last year for an Erasmus exchange programme, my life was so much better there (I was finally independent!), I could cook for myself all I ever wanted and I tried so many things there, I gained 7 kgs xD In the end, I followed a diet this summer, I first stopped eating junk food or eating too much fat and stuff (my meals were very rich), I lost something like 1kg in 2 weeks (my belly became less swollen) and a month later I finally started a diet which basically wasn't restrictive, but I could eat stuff at different times during the day, anyway, it was less rich and I finally lost 4kgs in a month. I still got 2kgs more than last year, but I don't care because I know I can do it and I'm happy with my round belly :D And I'm also proud because my clothes will soon fit me again!

Sep 06, 2012

Albertina L.

so great for u to have such a big big success !! Very proud!!! U look totally awesome and beautiful ! Keep it going girl!!

Aug 31, 2012

Larissa H.

i find this story very motivating.. i am not very pleased about my overly large love handles.. or my thick thighs... i want to loose enough weight to be confident, feel sexy and know that i look great for my grad next year.. i just cant keep the motivation like you did.. :/

you look great btw! :)