First Hate! ;)

Sep 19, 2011

Stephanie F.

Hey, everybody!

I just got my first lesson in hate over a YT video. I have one of those sister-in-laws that loves to smile in your face and then bash you on FB or to others. I have never found myself in her crosshairs, I pretty much get along with everybody, but today I posted a new makeup tutorial and she put up this FB status:

"If I see another mfing makeup tutorial I am gonna tear my mfing hair out"

Classy, I know...it went to my entire family and all of our mutual friends. My other sister-in-law called me and told me, I hadn't seen it.

I am thinking she expects me to respond. I don't think I will, but if I do, I will say something positive...still thinking on it.

So silly, but it's a good lesson for the future, right?

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 19, 2011

Nikki B.

So sorry to hear that, and worse it's family. Just remember that there are more people out there who share your beauty interests and like you for who you are and what you do.

Sep 20, 2011

Stephanie F.

Thank you, Nikki! And you are exactly right...I am not worried about it, yes, it hurt my feelings but only because so many other friends and family saw it. But I know the truth about me--and how hard I am working to make quality videos. I appreciate the support, though. So kind of you!

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 20, 2011

Steff J.

If you're doing something right in life, you're going to get hate for it.

It's easy for people to "hate" to see others do what they love and enjoy, because it's so hard to come by in life these days.

Keep doing what you're doing and the best thing we can do is kill them with kindness :)

Sep 20, 2011

Binks B.

Like one of my fav lyrics in Rihanna's song Cheers "....people gonna talk whether you're doing bad or good...." hahaha :) just keep doing what you love! She posted that because she wished she had the guts to do what you do!

Sep 20, 2011

Kristina H.

Wow! It is sad when people have to put something down just to do it! I think the best way to get back is to never stop doing what you love! You have the right idea, just keep smiling and staying positive!

Sep 20, 2011

Drea L.

Wow! Can't believe family would sy that - how rude!

If anything, all I would say is "Well, get your hair ready because more are coming your way! :D"
Take her down with a little joke. ;)

Sep 20, 2011

Stephanie F.

Thanks, everyone! I think you can tell by the comment itself how she acts. LOL Who uses that word twice in one post?

Steff, you are exactly right. ;)

Binks, haha I love that song!

Kristina, you're right--I think it was just to do it. I am the only person putting makeup tutorials on her FB. We don't know anyone else into makeup. When I first started, she said something about how I needed to sniff my armpits and jump up and down in the videos--it made no sense. LOL She's just trying to get a jab from me, I think.

Andrea, I love love love this idea! I thought about saying something along those lines. Something like "Well, there's a lot more where that came from...enjoy :)" LOL

But I think with her, she's always posting nasty things on FB. She goes after people every once in a while, and I think that is sad. Most people snap back at her, and I get the feeling that in this case its what she is after. So I just quietly x'd her off where I don't see her comments anymore. I had been needing to do that for a while, don't you hate it when all someone says is negativity on there? I don't get how that is smart. When you put something on FB, its there forever in a way, so its not worth it to respond with something nasty back. Its not me anyway.

Thank you all so much.

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 20, 2011

Dylan P.

Whatever, she probably can't get people to talk to her on fb without pissing them off first. She just wants your attention =P

She's just making herself look bad. Just because she doesn't wanna watch you videos doesn't mean there aren't other people who do. I put my vids on my personal facebook sometimes, I have a rivuletsbeauty page but once in a while I'll put stuff on my personal, just to make sure my good friends who want to know can see my stuff. If you don't wanna watch, feel free to keep scrolling (: The internet is a big place!

Sep 20, 2011

Stephanie F.

Hey Dylan!

You're right, the net is a big place! I am not worried about it, I just posted it more to kinda joke about being hated on by my own family than anything else. I completely get that not everyone loves makeup like I do, but it's not like I posted 100 videos lol

I don't think I am like the Farmville posters...hmmm....I hope not!

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 20, 2011

Holly M.

Dont let her get you down. You keep doing what makes you happy and shoot if she is posting about your videos, even if its bad, that means she watches them. I am thinking she is a little bit jealous of you and that could be why she acts like that towards you. 

Sep 20, 2011

Stephanie F.

Holly,

You're right, and that's the whole point. If I'm getting hate then at least people are seeing it. LOL

It's a ll good,

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 20, 2011

Stephanie F.

This is all so silly that I hate to add any more to it...but the saga continues...

I just uploaded another video, and she just FB-Ed that she thumbs downed it. This is so childish. I would laugh it off but now I have a 100 percent thumbs down rate, which cannot be good. I don't think you can fix ratings and I don't have hundreds of subs (yet :) ) to offset it.

Any suggestions? I deleted her off FB so she won't get upload messages.

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 20, 2011

Melanie G.

Wow...so she posted on Facebook that she thumbs-downed your video? This person sounds insane! I think the best thing you can do is what you already did...just delete/unfriend her on Facebook, and then you won't have to deal with her anymore at least in that way.

If you post a link to your video, I'm sure enough of us here can bump up that rating for you =)

Sep 20, 2011

Alexandra G.

Eh don't let it put you down. She obviously doesn't share the same interest as us. If she doesn't like it she can just exit or not watch it at all! I just got my first "no offense" comment. Haha it wasnt an insult but it was my first comment like that.haha it said "I hope this doesn't offend you but you sort of resemble demi lavato to me," Umm thats not an insult telling someone they look like a celebrity, and I get that all the time! (for some unknown reason) Lol :P so I just replied with "thanks :)"

I am preparing myself for the worst things people can say and stooping down to their level is going to "feed the trolls" like xparkage says. Lol so with every rude comment I am just going to reply with a nice comment. Kill them with Kindness! It will make haters mad, and eventually they will get on with their lives. They want you to reply with a mean comment...that's why you should do the opposite. Everyone has their own opinions...As Lew Wallace stated "beauty is altogether in the eye of the beholder"

Sep 20, 2011

Mindy N.

Why don't you just de-friend her. Then she won't know about your videos and won't be able to write negative things about them or give you a thumbs down. Honestly, how embarrassing for her to act like a child online for your family and friends to see.

I am glad you are taking the high road and not responding. Stay positive!

Sep 20, 2011

Jane W.

Haterz be hating!
You should have replied with "Theres a hide button, use it biatch *girlfriend click*"
Oh people :') They just make themselves look narrow minded and idiotic.

Sep 20, 2011

Stephanie F.

Melanie, thank you so much! If you click the link in my signature it will take you right to that video. I really appreciate that you would do that for me.

Alexandra, you are exactly right. I plan on replying with friendly comments on YouTube but with my sister in law it's a bit different. I know her, and she just wants a response. So in this case, I originally just unsubbed to her comments. I probably should have just unfriended her, as maybe the thumbs down would not have occurred? Who knows...but I did unfriend her after that. It's a shame, but on a more positive note, I won't be privy to the other nasty things she says to other people. I have seen her lash out at her Mother and other people on there in the past. It's weird, one minute she's saying how wonderful her life is and then the next she's being negative. In a way, I almost feel sorry for her with all of the up and down emotions she seems to experience. It's just a bummer that the video will now be seen as " not good" because I am finally working out things like lighting and getting comfortable on camera. Oh well, there will be other videos...eventually she will move on, too.

Mindy, thanks so much! I did have to defined her, which is a shame since she is family. But I also think, like you, that other people are seeing this and probably seeing it for what it is. My only concern was the negative YT rating. But, who knows, maybe people will see it and like it and the rating will eventually level out. If not, then there will always be future videos, right? ;)

Jane, hahaha! You crack me up! I won't lie, a small part of me wanted to ;) but why feed into what she wants?

Smashley, thank you! I almost did say " thanks for watching and giving your opinion!" lol but with that, I think she would still know it got to me so I decided not to respond.

Ok, so since I did what I always tell others not to do (it upset me and ruined my otherwise great day, I think because it's not a stranger hating), I think it's time to close this and move on to more positive things! Thanks to everyone for your insight. And now I am prepared for when I blow up and get hate on a daily basis. Heh heh

:)

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 21, 2011

Heather H.

Haha! Wow, she can be nasty. She's not ashamed to show her true colours. You could have also said that you would appreciate it if she could keep her negativity off of your FB and YouTube. It's still polite, but it's being honest since you know her personally. 

Sep 21, 2011

Stephanie F.

Heather,

Hey girl! How are you?

Yeah, that was pretty crazy, huh? I ended up deleting her, and then some sweet beauties on here helped me out by thumbs-upping my video, so it's back up to 75%. So many sweet people on here...

Here's to hoping all is calmed down!

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 21, 2011

Simi M.

I am guessing you dont want to unfriend her being family etc, I had a sis in law who could not see beyond my imperfections perceived or real and the more I ignored her jabs it became more public and more bitchy, one fine day in private I confronted her ! Of course she would not own up instead she was making a lot of excuses, I heard her out and told her I could see through her lame excuses. Talk over and never has she bothered me again!

I was a very shy, and polite girl but I had to do this and I am glad I did it !!!

Only way to make some people stop is by putting them in a situation similar to what they put you in, or they never get it ! Kindness does not work always, so a gentle confrontation with your sis in law (if she bothers you again) would be a good idea !

www.typefashion.wordpress.com

Sep 22, 2011

Stephanie F.

Simi,

Hi! I actually did unfriend her eventually, after she thumbs downed my video. That way I won't be sending links to her.

I love that you just asked her what the deal was. Takes guts, and I love that. With her, though, I would love to--but knowing her like I do, that's what she wants. She is one of those people always looking for a fight. Its just never been with me before, I guess I have just stayed under her radar. Trust me, ignoring her is the best thing. It has her irritated, I've been told. Nobody has ever handled it that way, so it was unexpected. To confront her just gives her the attention she craves. In a weird way, I almost feel a little bit sorry for her since it is attention-seeking behavior. Not to go into too many details, but this family has had some pretty serious issues. It was not a happy childhood. That's not to say that I want to make excuses for her or the behavior, she is an adult. Its her choice to act how she does. But sometimes confrontation is all you know...and it can be hard to change after its ingrained in you. The older kids, my husband and his older sister, got "away" from the parents earlier--before things really fell apart. So they are a little more well-adjusted.

All of this started over an outfit, believe it or not. She came over to my house last Satrurday asking for an outfit because her neighbor wanted her to go to church, which she usually doesn't attend. So I went through my closet and actually gave her a whole bag full of clothing--but after that, she wanted a dress I had not even worn (still had the tags on it and the whole nine...) to which I said no. So, I guess she took her anger at me over the dress out on my videos. Weird, huh? Its so funny, I feel like I am in high school! ;)

I originally posted this to say that I got my first lesson in how to (eventually, hopefully) deal with haters on YouTube--how better to learn than with someone you actually know? I don't know, it hasn't happened yet other than this, but I think it will be easier to take hate from a stranger than a relative. That was my original point, anyway.

I really appreciate your response and advice!

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 22, 2011

Simi M.

IT is so tiresome that people keep petty issues in mind and they react for other things, as long as she does not bother you (ignoring seems to work) it is fine. My sis in law made my life hell for atleast 3 years before I put my feet down ! and I am better off without her (my whole family is tired of the tantrums, so it was k)

Dont let some people think what you are doing is not worth it !

Just checked your youtube and I like it too ! :)

xoxo

www.typefashion.wordpress.com

Sep 22, 2011

Stephanie F.

Simi,

Three years??!! Oh no, you were so right to put an end to it! So sorry it was like that for so long. Good for you, standing your ground.

Thanks so much for checking out my channel!

--Cookie
Makeup Tutorials, Reviews, and Plus Size Fashion Videos
http://www.youtube.com/cookiefarrer

Sep 22, 2011

Dejeri L.

The best way to get someones attention is to no longer need it.

She obviously has her eyes and mind on you for her to even take time out of her life to write a post concerning what your doing. Your beautiful love. She wish she was a fuckkin fearless as you!

xoxo Dejeri