Body By Kit: A Crappy Situation

Body By Kit

"A Crappy Situation" by Kit Rich

I’ve been told that pregnant women forget the amount of pain they went through during labor. It’s a pain filter mechanism that allows women to continue procreating. I have not given birth, nor have I ever been pregnant. But, before I became a fitness and health professional, I experienced something so painful that the memory alone keeps me from ever doing it again and I just can’t forget.

Now I know I’m not the first person to ever decide to take a laxative for weight loss or detox purposes. But, I might possibly be the first person to take laxative tea and go on a date… all in the same evening. I was 18 at the time, just shy of 19, and a die-hard member of the “clean the plate club.” I used to treat every meal as if it was the Last Supper and I was the guest of honor.

That night I was to go on a date with a guy I had liked for awhile. It took months to get his attention and this date was supposed to be the hook, line and sinker. My plan of attack was killer wit and the very snug LBD. With that 2 for 1 combo, how could he resist? But my largely descended and bloated stomach from lunch put a kibosh on the master plan and I was in panic attack mode. I needed a quick fix to tame the tummy. Chamomile or Peppermint tea weren’t strong enough and as far as I was concerned, I didn’t need a pistol, I needed a firing squad.

Hello, Chinese Herbal Diet Tea.

Too frantic to read the label, all I knew was that this tea was supposed to help expedite the “process” and I was desperate. I remember so vividly sipping my tea while shaving my legs in the bathtub, fantasizing about my dream wedding. Oh what an evening we were going to have. Oh what a life we would share together! Oh….crap.

That night, I couldn’t get one word out without having to scramble to the ladies room every 5 minutes. Forget wit, the only banter I was having was the repartee with the toilet. After my 5th or 6th exit, my date took it personally and left me there to fend for myself. My LBD and I spent the rest of the evening reading poetry on the door of the bathroom stall. Apparently, Robert Frost and Ralph Waldo Emerson frequented this very same one.

All I can say is, some people learn lessons the hard way and I have always learned mine by the act of doing. In this particular case, I guess I learned my lesson by the act of doodoo-ing. But thanks to the tea, bathroom stall and the wise words of Robert Frost, I especially learned that “the only way out, is through.”

No longer a member of the clean the plate club, here are 3 safe and effective ways to help you keep your portions in control:

1. Take a wheatgrass shot!

It is packed with so many nutrients it helps your body feel more nourished and satisfied for longer throughout the day. It also helps promote regular bowel movements.

2. Stretch in the morning!

Stretching helps improve circulation, calm the nervous system and boost metabolism. But it also gets you connected to your body so you can be more connected to its wants and needs throughout the day. Simply do 5 minutes every morning and you’ll notice a difference.

3. Eat grapefruit!

This delicious fruit is packed with fiber and other nutrients that can help you feel fuller and for longer periods of time.

Kit Rich is Los Angeles-based fitness trainer with endless exercise and nutritional know-how. Hollywood's hottest stars are addicted to Kit's unique, multi-disciplined approach that combines cardio, yoga, Pilates, and weight training. Kit's clients are immediately taken by her funny and honest approach to health and fitness. She treats her clients as she treats herself, "with a hard challenge, sensibility, sensitively, and a good laugh." Follow Kit on Twitter @kitrichfitness